Happy Valentine’s Day! We’ve got a sweet treat for you today and tomorrow – a guest post from my friend and former neighbor (sniff! sniff!), Holly Mora. Holly moved on to the block at a precious time in the neighborhood. We had SIX women all pregnant with babies due within 6 months of each other!
Holly’s daughter, Ella, and my daughter, Lucy, ended up being born just 13 days apart! Holly and I were able to be a part of a neighborhood Bible study together during our daughters’ first year of life, and it was such a blessing to learn from Holly’s wisdom and be encouraged by her humble and transparent heart. I think you will get a good glimpse into that precious heart this Valentine’s Day as Holly brings us her timely and poignant thoughts on marriage. Enjoy!
My name is Holly. I am a wife and mother, and I blog about writing and finding your voice and share important moments, along with my friend Jenn, over at It’s a Matter of Moments . Thank you Molly, for letting me share some struggles from my heart with your readers this Valentine’s Day!
Let me ask you something. Have you ever become painfully aware that your most meaningful relationship has somehow come to a difficult, maybe even formidable season? Have you wondered at your lowest moments whether it’s worth it to keep trying? Do you choose to hold on and move forward or give up and let go?
I met my husband when I was 23. After our first kiss, I had the romantic notion that I would marry him but I really didn’t know. I didn’t know lots of things back then. Like how hard marriage really is. That the lows can be just as miraculous as the highs. They both can take your breath away. Thinking back, I don’t remember what my thoughts were about getting married, I just remember wanting to. I wanted to be just with one person always to share a future and a family and forever. Mike was that for me.
Fast forward almost 17 years and three children. We have shared many things and made it through this far, sometimes I wonder how. We both have a mean streak. We are not very nice to each other sometimes. Neither one of us really know how to say “I’m sorry” the way the other can hear it. The burdens of life can be too much sometimes and we can feel it pulling us under. We don’t deal with stress very well and our life has been one big ball of stress for the past three years. But somehow, we have made it this far.
When I was growing up, no one ever talked to me about marriage. The examples of marriage in my life were not happy. My grandparents were married for over 65 years but they didn’t like each other very much, and we all knew it. My parents were married for 18 years and somewhere along the way they lost respect for each other and it all fell apart. Basically I was NOT prepared to get married and be the wife I needed to be. My romantic notions were not a good foundation for building one of the most important relationships in my life, and that became apparent quickly.
I became a Christian after my first son was born, before my husband did. The good Lord saw fit to bring him around a few years later. I wish I could say it was partly my good influence, my kind actions and holding my tongue that brought him to Christ, but alas, I am imperfect in so many ways. I wish I could say that the first few years of marriage were the hardest but in our case years 14, 15, and 16 have kicked our literal butts. Our path led down into a valley and wouldn’t let us go. Financially we struggled and that struggle lead to a strain that created such disillusionment, it makes me cry to just write about it. What do you do when you look at the partner you have chosen for your forever and you don’t know if you can even make it to tomorrow? It’s binding, blinding and suffocating. Sometimes it feels as if there is no way to climb out of a hole that deep…
Want to know how Holly is doing it?? The story doesn’t end there! Holly will be back tomorrow for Part 2 and I know you’ll be blessed by both her honesty and her practical words of wisdom. If you, like Holly, find yourself in a valley in your marriage, or know somehow else who is, there is hope from the author, creator, and perfecter of marriage!
May the Lord bring you many little reminders of how much you are loved today!